and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
