He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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