oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
