hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
im on a boat
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