I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
