Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
