You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also, beer. Big fan.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
