That's when you crack a 10am beer
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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