My first STD was from a foam party
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
