People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
