New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Congratulations! We have a period
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