Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize