My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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