pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm passing your future prison.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
