woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
