so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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