she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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