How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize