I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
