chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
