nut hugger
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
