i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
