My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
