The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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