Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
