i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
