I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
someone owes me an orgasm
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
