whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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