I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
