I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We are two peas in an std pod
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
