Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
