Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Randomize
