is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So apparently I’m into choking now
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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