I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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