i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
