so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
