Please, let me fuck your mom
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
