i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
