Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry DesireeeIsDope69 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(905): View more from Toronto

So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises

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(907): View more from Alaska

I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.

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(325): View more from Texas

Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.

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(613): View more from Ontario

he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.

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(913): View more from Kansas

So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?

(314): View more from Missouri

you had an obligation.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand

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(516): View more from New York

One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.

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