Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
