How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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