that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
