She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
as a side note pls kill me
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
