Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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