my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
