Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
