do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
