Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
