I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
