How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
