when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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