somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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