left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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