Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
