My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
