I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
