Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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