put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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