More tranny stories later!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
