I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
