New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
