Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize